Thursday, January 31, 2008

Swinging between Narcissism and Self-Hatred

...

- There is no question that i can not answer!...

- I wonder if there is anything in the world easier than talking big? :)

-Yes there is! It is easier to place yourself in the middle, forbidding yourself of all "yes"s and all "no"s, "right"s and "wrong"s …it is easier to blur the reality…less responsibility… a conscious ignorance that people choose…no right-no left, no soldier steps…it is easier to blow question marks into your bubble ring and to enjoy watching as they fly in the air randomly…Bohemian people are like sand in a desert these days and they don’t mind if the bubbles never die.

- You mean generalizing something, denying plenty of other possibilities is harder to do?! Denying life's surprises and our failures? We are like bugs inside an upside-down glass before the Supreme Knowledge and accepting this makes us superior creatures. Probably Hitler used to say the same: "I know all the answers"!

- You are sailing the waters of demagogy!

- If so, we are in the same boat:)



(P.S. recalling Bohm Dialogue now: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohm_Dialogue )

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Superposition*

…a quarter jar of mum-made cherry jam which is left in the fridge if the bitter green olives not counted – Macy Gray’s sorrowful screams accompanied with gleeful melodies: “I try to say good bye and I choke/ I try to walk away and I stumble…” – 2kgs that I lost in 3 days – the ironic view of the heaven of plate antennas located on the top of damp looking holes occupied by bachelor workers in Bneid Al Gar district – Quantum Physics & Schrodinger’s Cat *– the sad smile on my face while working on (upon my manager’s instructions) the new projects coming up in the Gulf Region which might make the rich richer and the poor poorer – some useless info that i got from McCormick Spice Encyclopedia about thymus vulgaris (thyme) which did not give me any clue to figure out if it is a good fuel for our imaginations – the news on Palestinian refugees & one Arab leader saying to Bush:"We are not going to sink a lot of money into West Bank and Gaza projects that will just be blown up by the Israelis in a few months when things go wrong again” – the girl in my office who started to visit my cabin 10 times a day just to be able to see the new guy sitting behind me, and me thinking: hope is good for health - the epiphanic moments experienced that can not be explained to anyone...


Notes:

* http://www.amherst.edu/~jrfriedman/NYTimes/071100sci-quantum-mechanics.html

** The Painting: "In the Place of Embrace" by Alfrade Castaneda



Today's music:

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/96401/freak_like_me/Macy_Gray_-_Freak_Like_Me

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/121465/i_try_macy/Macy_Gray_-_I_Try

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/96401/macy_gray_oblivion/Macy_Gray_-_Oblivion

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Viva La Frida!

Insomnia has been knocking my door lately. if I don’t take him in I know he will go and disturb others…Then lets be altruistic in an absurd way and welcome the prankish Mr. Insomnia for some time.

He enjoys our "ideas association game" the most. We invite famous people from the history to make the game more colorful, they don’t mind being recalled anytime at night since all of them are already out of the time/space continuum. Last night Frida Kahlo honored us when we were in the middle of a discussion about "disturbing art". She was wearing a Mexican style dress, white and red. Her shoulders were covered with a tasseled shawl as if she knew it was still winter in Kuwait.

My first question was about her baby: Did she finally have it somewhere out of this world? She kept quite. When I asked about her painting methods, she said only: "I put on the canvas whatever comes into my mind." And was her husband an asshole? She smiled.

I and Mr. Insomnia offered her a mixture of ginger and regular black tea. As I drank my second cup of tea, saw the grin on Insomnia's face put by the idea of enjoying my company for some more time…



http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/119202/alanis_morisette_lets_do_it/Alanis_Morisette_-_lets_do_it__lets_fall_in_love_

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Dark Corridor Between Wednesday and Thursday

Date: 17-Jan-08, Thursday
Time: Night, close to Dawn
Experience: People call it dream
Theme: One day before the last day
Associated Song: The Carnival is Over by Dead Can Dance*



Such a fuss! Somehow everybody knows that this life will end tomorrow without hearing the Soor** of Angel Israfel. The reactions are so different from each other. I and the group surrounding me are really upset, crying sometimes, lost in emotions yet I am constantly moving from here to there and analyzing others :
There is a girl, still hopeful to find a boyfriend,
Another is amazed with her new jewels,
Two woman are selling some clothes in their booth on a street,
One guy is trying to get his broken porcelain souvenir fixed by another street seller,

I am asking these people shocked seeing them so indifferent to the biggest news ever:

How can you continue living normally as if nothing will gonna happen tomorrow, how can you do business, how can you still have hope for “ here” ?

They are saying: What else can we do, best is to do what we know how to do and to be how we used to be…

Me, going back to the people to whom i feel relatively closer.
Removing my clothes to witness the funeral for some feelings like shyness (not feeling anything different because of being naked), like sense of flesh (no man is looking at me, they are indifferent ). As the weather is getting darker and darker I am starting to feel lighter and lighter, detaching myself from the world along with my clothes…




*Here it is:

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/84226/carnival_is_over/Dead_Can_Dance__-_The_Carnival_Is_Over


**Bugle

Monday, January 14, 2008

Body-Mind Interface: The Rainbow

As soon as he read detailed information on chakras on our bodies, which he had been delaying since long back, he decided to take care of his 7 chakras so that he would have more control on his emotions, sexual desires, skills, health and happiness in general, and he would feel his aura more strongly. Lately he heard much about the "energy theories" according to which everything in the universe is made of energy, so are we. For many the source of this energy which is in constant flux is God, the creator. If he concentrated on his own and others' energy waves he could avoid everything negative and attract everything positive, he could even spiritually upgrade himself!

First he would start with the fun part: sticking to certain colors, stones and scents for each chakra
Remembering to

1- Not tell anyone about your new interest, they would think you are weird/cracked/girlish/childish/quite free to spend time for this "newage import"

2- Make sure you have these colors in your closet: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and purple (he could not imagine himself wearing a red shirt in his office, what about a yellow tie or purple socks:)

3- Go to a gem store and purchase these stones for each chakra: carnelian, quartz, yellow citrine, malahit, turquoise, amethyst and opal. But it would be difficult to wear 7 rings with stones at a time, so better to wear a different one everyday...Or a necklace having all of them on it (this would be quite heavy for a man! )

4- Pick 7 scentes! (last but not least): Patchouli, sandalwood/jasmine, bergamot, melissa, daisy, frankincense/violet and lavender/rose...Try to smell them often according to each chakra's needs...
After all those thoughts he could not get rid of the question mark in his mind, does he really need this information and guidelines, he could simply stick to his intuition and to what he likes...Anyways what would he lose if he added some different spices to his ashura?*

* Making an analogy between ashura soup and his life. Remember the day Nuh (Noah) left the Ark and Musa (Moses) escaped from the Egyptians. Ashura is the soup made with plenty of ingredients (some says 12 but maybe more, you can always improve the recipe) to celebrate the rescue.
Today's Quote: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."-Carl Jung

Today's music:


http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/104135/be_seeing_you/IGGY_POP_and_FRANCOISE_HARDY_-_ILL_BE_SEEING_YOU

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/104135/dead_and_lovely/Tom_Waits_-_Dead_and_Lovely

Sunday, January 13, 2008

A student of The Mosaic School- as long as i breathe...

Living, being "here" is an endless learning process...

I had Toefl this morning which was fun. I learned so many new stuff especially in reading and listening sections. One of them was about Regina Carter. She combines exciting technical proficiency and improvisation with an aggressive approach to her instrument, adding multicultural influence. Her playing is melodic, yet percussive. An inventive synthesis of jazz and contemporary classical music! The outcome is great. I have always believed in the magic of synthesis.

On the picture she is with "The Cannon," the 18th-century violin once owned by Italian composer Niccolo Paganini.
Lets listen to her now:

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

A Greenhouse or a Small Hollow

Some people are like glasshouse plants who need special care and can survive only under certain conditions. They are coy, delicate, hesitant and sluggish. The house they belong to is the world to them and each of them suppose they are the best in that world. They frown if their well-prepared meals are not served or medications not used when needed. They dont let even sunshine to touch them without glass gloves. They tend to isolate and consider unlucky those who are close to the door of the glasshouse which is the only passage to the outside world...

While others are like wild plants who can grow even out of a crack in a rock. They are used to severe weather conditions. They are content with what their soil and sky decide to give them. They dont lose anything from their beauty being tough. They let wind, sunshine and water glide over their skins and never feel the insecureness of not being shaded beneath a ceiling...


http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/122246/waiting_for_the_miracle/Leonard%20Cohen%20-%20Waiting%20For%20The%20Miracle


http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/66400/everybody_knows/Leonard%20Cohen%20-%20Everybody%20Knows

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ab-i Rouh*

Whispers blowing into my mind:

Become like water, become water!
Flow into/through things! Adapt yourself to the shape of what is filled with you without losing anything from your ingredients.
Eyewitness the collisions and the diffusions of your molecules, purify what you touch while being washed/purified constantly within yourself with the help of air.
Get crazy sometimes and bang yourself against the rocks however know when to let up and slack off.
Deliver bottled letters from unknown senders to unknown receivers.
Let sparrows have bath in you.
Change your color and flavor when needed, turn into smooth, easy-to-drink chai** for tired souls.
Find the secret of when to be sharp and when to be gentle to those who want to interact with you, of when to speak/sing and when to shut up!
Wash the water and water your soul!


* Ab-i Rouh (Persian) means Soul Water
** Chai: Tea



http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/77326/matrix_soundtrack/Soundtrack-Matrix%201-04


Saturday, January 5, 2008

He taught Adam the numbers...

The hypnotic effect of numbers is back!

Tend to count everything:

-the shirts that worker (waiting by the highway to be picked up randomly for some construction work to get a few dinars, cement stains were still on his loose-probably given away by somebody- trousers) was wearing...1-2-3 summer shirts, one over another, the weather is colder in mornings...sad numbers

-the steps of my boss 1-2-3-4-5....choking numbers

-the pages of the book that i am having an affair with 285-286-286-286-286-287...dizzying numbers

-the faces i have seen in my dream 1-2-2,5...blurring numbers

-the singer is shouting into my ears through my headphones again and again: "motherfucker"! 1-2-3-4...slapping numbers

-the baby of my colleague is gonna come out soon: 9-8-7-6-5...happy numbers

-the bastard words "open-minded" & "democracy" used in a conversation:...16-17-18-19...frustrating numbers

-the times i knocked the doors that i regret opening before: 3-4-5...merciful numbers

O me, O Life! *

"...Oftentimes we call Life bitter names, but only when we ourselves are bitter and dark. And we deem her empty and unprofitable, but only when the soul goes wandering in desolate places, and the heart is drunken with over-mindfulness of self.
Life is deep and high and distant; and though only your vast vision can reach even her feet, yet she is near; and though only the breath of your breath reaches her heart, the shadow of your shadow crosses her face, and the echo of your faintest cry becomes a spring and an autumn in her breast.
And Life is veiled and hidden, even as your greater self is hidden and veiled. Yet when Life speaks, all the winds become words; and when she speaks again, the smiles upon your lips and the tears in your eyes turn also into words. When she sings, the deaf hear and are held; and when she comes walking, the sightless behold her and are amazed and follow her in wonder and astonishment..." (The Garden of the Prophet, by Khalil Gibran)

Countless thanks and praises to HIM, the creator of Life!

*Referring to the poem written by Walt Whitman

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Cafein against thinking disorder (1-2 shots before or after meals)

Our Round Table in The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

My friend is playing with chicken
pieces on her plate. I am saying
"think of hungry children in Africa, they would slap you in the face
badly if they had enough energy to do that". "Come on sherry,
it would not help them in any ways if i finished everything i got",
she is giving me a strange look making obvious that she thinks
how naive i am sometimes...I regret my little pedantic attitude, not the way i think about being empathic with those small stomachs..

Then i am attacking my black coffee remembering that freshly-brewed coffee is one of the best smells in the world. I am saying "the coffee is goooood" to the waitress with tired, swollen eyes (due to her long working hours)...Our smiles are welcoming each other, i am thinking that smiling must be the best thing on the world which is free, so easy yet so hard for some & sometimes...

Another friend is asking "Sherry, what is going on in northern-Iraq, are you attacking Kurds in the villages?" . One more sip from my coffee which is already getting cold, " No, the army (not we) is sending missiles onto the mountains where the Kurdish terrorists (separatists) have been living/hiding, not on the civilians". When you are abroad you find yourself kinda defending your country's moves... "I am not a nationalist, Turkey is a nation-state which is not homogeneous, quite cosmopolitan with ethnic diversity (Turks, Kurds, Arabs, Roms...), i believe we all can live peacefully in one country".

"Sherry, we know you studied international relations but please don't use this diplomatic smart-ass attitude to escape from our discussions, we are friends and you are neither under an embassy roof nor in your country's territories, just relax and speak out!"

"I am just feeling over-responsible sometimes, don't wana talk bullshit only because i licked information off some foreign policy books for 4 years:)".

"Okay, lets change the topic, do you think the EU* will let you in soon?"

"Ugggghhhhhh! Excuse me! Can i have one more coffee please, no milk!"



*Turkey is going through the negotiation process for European Union membership.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Sober Dance with Life

Getting some fun out of life...The song that stole my sleep last night, thanks to Billie Holiday:) In fact this time someone else (called Madeleine something) was singing it in the end of the movie "Jane Austin Book Club" which i enjoyed much...simple but sweet...

These lyrics seem like contradicting what i posted as 'Blind Man's Buff ' earlier but i dont think so...The main thing is the 'consciousness'...You can enjoy your dance being sober, maybe you enjoy more when you are sober:)


Getting some fun out of life

When we want to love, we love
When we want to kiss, we kiss
With a little petting, we're getting
Some fun out of life
When we want to work. we work*
When we want to play, we play
In a happy setting, we're getting
Some fun out of life
Maybe we do the right things
Maybe we do the wrong
Spending each day
Just wending our way along
When we want to sing, we sing
When we want to dance, we dance
You can do your betting, we're getting
Some fun out of life

Maybe we do the right things

Maybe we do the wrong
Spending each day
Just wending our way along
But when we want to sing, we sing
When we want to dance, we dance
You can do your betting, we're getting
Some fun out of life


* i wish! yaaaaayyyyy!