Two men and a dog cutting it short

Guest - Just get rid of the whole damn thing!

Old man - Maybe for once you are right. It gets itchy this time of the year. Gimme your razor.

Guest - You will look 10 years younger, I tell ya,(smirk)and maybe make a girlfriend again.

Old man - Once a woman told me: "You are a 6-feet plywood who happens to appreciate art and wisdom". So the beard would not make a big change.

Guest - (laughter) She must be a smart cookie this one, I tell ya!

Old man - Another thought I must have hidden behind a tree when God was distributing everybody their share of his compassion.

Guest - Tree, plywood? What is this timber business man? I bet some other bitch named you pinokio.

Old Man - First, dont call them bitch, second, I have never lied to my women.

Guest - Don't know about that but you are the most merciful person I have ever met. For example you let me stay here with ya for don't-know-how many days now...

Old man - First you get their habits like borrowing a jacket from someone in a cold evening and you are not likely to return it although it does not fit you well. Their habits become yours before you know it. And you start to believe that you are the exact person they describe. They make you believe that you are a heartless gaffer. In fact you sadly see that you have done everything to deserve being called so.

Guest - Whatever, let's cut this short, you are givin' me a headache..

Old man - (Sigh) Okay, gimme the mirror now, I am almost done.

Guest - What is next? The dog?

Old man - No, first the grass in the yard...